What Was I Thinking?
When we struggle with homosexuality and the temptations presented to us by the gay community, we experience so many conflicting emotions and feelings, the frustration can be overwhelming.
Speaking from experience, I never thought God heard a single prayer of mine. Day after day, I would pray to have my homosexual desires taken away. Only now, that I can look back with a healthy mind, can I see that God was working on it faithfully. I guess I never saw him at work because I was looking for the wrong signs. I was expecting a dream, a vision, or just plain old relief from the lust. What I got, were new eyes. I began to see the gay life for what it was …empty and sad.
I now get embarrassed just thinking about what I used to consider truth and reality. It makes me want to slap myself and ask, "What was I thinking?"
I WAS BORN GAY: What was I thinking? I can’t believe I bought this one. Like I was born, put in the hospital nursery and ‘crawled into crib’ with the male infant next to me. How do they come up with these theories anyway? They make it sound that when the doctor spanked me, I smiled, raised my rump and wanted another one.
GOD HATED ME AND I WOULD BURN IN HELL FOR HAVING HOMOSEXUAL ATTRACTIONS: What was I thinking? Having homosexual desires doesn’t send anyone to hell any more than having heterosexual desires sends anyone to heaven.
IF I DIDN’T HAVE MODEL LOOKS, A GYM BODY AND A MASCULINE PHYSIQUE, I WAS WORTHLESS : What was I thinking? Whatever it was, most homosexually-inclined men are eventually convinced of this. What a shame.
I WAS A WOMAN TRAPPED IN A MAN’S BODY: What was I thinking? Indeed, what logic did I follow to arrive at this incredible conclusion? Did I actually believe my body had testicles and my ‘inner being’ had hooters?
I used to believe every one of the above lies . Thank God that I can now look at these ridiculous statements and say, "What was I thinking
?"From Buggin’ Out ! Newsletter
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