Dear Lord,

Well, here we are again. Another Friday night and I have maintained my integrity and not acted out sexually for three months now. Changes really have begun to evolve in me. My attractions to men are becoming less intense and are occurring with less frequency. Finally, I am beginning to see light at the end of the tunnel. I am told, however, this is just the beginning and a long journey out of homosexuality awaits me. So, as we tackle this thing together Lord…

Bless me with insight to see my Internet membership in Christians in Recovery could be adversely affected by my simultaneous membership in AdultCheck.

In Your omniscience, grant me faith to know better days are coming as I stay in tonight and rent a movie, while my old friends are out partying at Uncle Charlie’s Pajama Club.

And when the new temp who starts Monday turns out to be drop-dead hot, be merciful and shower me with unparalleled disinterest, after management sticks him at the desk next to mine.

Hold back my tongue when my mother asks me (for the millionth time), When are you going to give me grandchildren? and I want to snap back, When my H.M.O. covers cloning, that’s when!

Equip me with divine recall as I frantically try to remember where I hid that gay video last year before somebody else stumbles upon it.

Help me to be grateful for fellowship when I confess to my accountability partner that I almost fell in a Sears men’s room, and he proceeds to e-mail my backslide across the Internet to 85 other Christians, using my full name, because I need prayer.

Grant me courage to work toward freedom and patience to drudge through recovery.

And, most importantly, until the time I am delivered from this mess, help me see that, one day, You will use this to Your glory. Teach me to live life day by day. Lead me to see that attitude is 99% of the victory, and, with this in mind, as I awake each morning, help me to smile, stretch out my arms with thanksgiving, and enthusiastically declare, Good morning homosexual conflict !

http://www.bugginout.org
email bugoutnyc@aol.com

Copyright 2009 All Rights Reserved

Any enquiries about reproduction of content from this magazine should be directed to the Managing Editor
(email: bugoutnyc@aol.com).