I have to confess I was, at one time, an outspoken believer that, due to either Divine, biological or other malfunctions, "female" souls would be born into male bodies. In other words, I wanted to believe that I was ultimately a woman sentenced to go through life incarcerated in a man’s body and my gay behavior was, accordingly, justifiable.

But, over the years, I began to notice subtle character differences between women and gay men that caused me to rethink my theory that, inside, they are one in the same. For example:

-- When alone in a room with an attractive male who licks his lips and signals "he’s willing" with a nod and mischievous grin, a woman will grab her mace and bolt for the door. A gay man will simply bolt the door.

--A woman will want to talk with her lover before, during, and after sex. The gay man is absolutely fine with silent sex and wants only to talk about his lover in the third person, the following day, with his friends.

--If a woman is not already a sultry, black, female songstress, she sees no need to imitate one. A gay man does.

--When selecting a mate, the woman and the gay man place importance on different issues. Early on (within the first three weeks of the relationship) the woman will want to know if her man wants children, how he will want to raise them, and what his income level is. Early on (within the first three minutes of conversation) the gay man will want to know if the guy is a top or a bottom, is he able to host for the evening and, if he cannot, does he earn enough to hire a cab to bring him over.

--A woman will purchase a candle, set it in a place of prominence, and never light it. A gay man will break out into hives if it remains unlit. Interestingly, if the candle is "unscented" he is able to hold back.

--A woman is monogamous with her hair care products. She will bring home a single bottle of shampoo and use it faithfully until it is finished. She will, then, shop for a new one. The gay man is different. He does not have the ability to stay with one bottle. Upon entering a supermarket, pharmacy, or variety store, the gay man will immediately drift toward the hair-care aisle, twist off caps, and start sniffing. He reads labels like they are personal ads. It is unimportant to him that 26 partially-used bottles of shampoo already call his shower home. He wants another one. It is no secret to him, or to those who know him, that he sees each of these 26 shampoos with the same bittersweet nostalgia stable individuals look at ex-lovers…each bottle is a "relationship" that didn’t work out. The gay man goes through shampoos like he goes through men. Enticed by their packaging and aroused by their scent, he takes them home and discovers they did not change his life as promised, and picks up the search where he left off.

--A woman will "punish" her mate for being "insensitive" by withholding her body from him until he repents. A gay man will punish his mate for being "insensitive" by holding someone else’s body.

Women and gay men one in the same? Why they have as much in common as Coke and Pepsi don’t.

From Buggin’ Out ! Newsletter