1. If the "gay church" is accurate- and God inflicts homosexuality onto a species to control overpopulation- might ten percent of the cockroaches in New York City be lez?

2. Might things have turned out differently for me if my mother had been more Exodus-savvy and, upon seeing me with a face full of her make-up at age 9, had interceded with something stronger than "now go clean up before supper, dear"?

3. Why is there a recipe folded in my Bible and who put it there?

4. If, as a child, having a healthy relationship with one’s father can prevent homosexuality as an adult, could developing a good rapport with one’s dog discourage bestiality?

5. Why are they called "adult bookstores" if no adult is ever seen selling, buying, or reading a book inside?

6. Are there cross-dressers in the Ku-Klux-Klan? How would you spot them?

7. As I continue on in recovery, why is it that when I envision myself in a heterosexual relationship, I want a Godly, Bible-believing female? But, when I envision myself in a homosexual relationship, tend to want a male who is passionate, sex-starved, and agnostic?

9. Have there been times when I’ve caused my guardian angel to blush, cringe, vomit, drink, go temporarily blind, or submit a transfer request?

10. I’ve always considered Eve an undeniable idiot for being deceived by a chatty reptile pushing fruit. But how well would I have fared, in the same circumstance, if the fruit had been an Oreo and the serpent Orlando Bloom?

From Buggin’ Out ! Newsletter